Oh Amber. We are well aware that you are extremely good looking. But even the finest looking person in the universe can look, shall we say, not so fine in the hands of a photographer with a vision. And by vision I mean a deep desire to put someone in a horribly weird or awkward pose. FYI: It’s not art. It’s just awkward.
I also want to say sorry for this right away because Amber Benson is my favorite so it’s going to kill me to make fun of these pictures. But remember IT’S NOT HER FAULT. It’s the photographer. There will also be some photos from the same shoot used because she doesn’t have a lot of professional photo shoots. Now let’s get started.
What was the photographer thinking? “All right Amber. Go climb up that tree. No, higher. Good. Now balance your weight perfectly on a branch without falling. Once you’ve done that, twist your neck at an unnatural angle and hold it. You know what, that’s not good enough. Stick out your leg and bend your foot up so you can touch it. Perfect.”
I wonder how Amber got out of that tree.
AMBER COME ON LEAVE THAT SHIT TO THE PROFESSIONALS
Shit man why is she in midst of a ton of branches? She could poke her eye out!
What was the photographer thinking? “Pretend you are hugging your best friend or your parents or something, but replace them with…a chair. Then give me a seductive look because you need to sell the reader on your attachment to said chair.”
Kind of thinking that Amber inspired Britney Spears’ Stronger music video:
Okay what the hell is this for real. There are flecks of green and pink in her hair and the background looks like Amber’s in either Fairy Tale Land or possibly the inside of a jellyfish.
I’m also going to point out the fact that you can ALMOST SEE UP AMBER’S SKIRT. Was this a planted tease by the photographer? Or was this an accident? Not entirely sure. All I know is that her modesty is barely protected by her knee-length sock.
This is pretty trippy. Not sure if it’s a wind machine that’s making her hair like that or static.
5 MINUTES EARLIER:
So it’s static.
Is it just me or are these photographers obsessed with testing Amber’s balance skills? They might as well cast her as Elphaba because she’s had experience DEFYING GRAVITY.
Anyway this angle is just uncomfortable and I feel like I’m exercising looking at it. Don’t mind me as I slowly slide away…
So let me get this straight. You’re a photographer, and you get to shoot Amber Benson. So you put her in a ugly shirt and make her stare at the camera weird? Go home.
To finish things off:
Riddle me this: Is this an Amber Benson photo shoot in which she is given a Dalmatian to pose with to look cool and chic? Or is this a Dalmatian photo shoot in which Amber Benson is merely a background prop?